Forgive me
by MajesticBurn
Summary: G1 Sometimes we regret what we can't change, especially when you find out 4 million years too late. Killing a traitor is serious... but what if it's your best friend? And she isn't really a traitor. Jazz fic. revised


Revised and fixed to explain questions submitted by Tirya King. and if I used other peoples ideas I'm sorry;I wasn't aware of it. I don't own transformers; ifI did; I don't know what I'd do to- I-I mean _with _the poor 'bots. Enjoy!

* * *

Forgive me

Jazz sat down to drink a cup of energon; then set it down half-full. He looked as though he wasn't getting sequential energon _or _enough recharge. Jazz seemed at the brink of going into shut-down wile standing; and no one seemed to understand why. Carly asked various people what they thought, and most said he was just going through a rough spot and would be fine soon enough. Carly still wasn't satisfied, so one day when Jazz was headed to recharge; she cornered him.

"What's going on Jazz? Are you sick? Common: what's bothering you?"

"Carly; I really just need to be alone right now m-k man? I'm fine, really."

Carly crossed her arms, "Jazz, you're the one who always talks to people when there's something wrong with them; it's time _someone_ returned the favor!"

For a moment he looked at her as if she had three heads and was speaking Germen, Japanese and African all at once. He never expected anyone to help him with his problems; he was supposed to be the one to see the silver lining, but in this case he just didn't see it. For being the jokester to make everyone forget there problems for a moment or to help someone in battle hardly seemed reason for people to get involved in his personal life to him. But then again everyone at base was so close they were like family… He heaved a sigh of defeat and motioned toward his room; this was a privet matter.

Once he closed the door she gave him a "you aren't escaping me" look. After a long moment he finally said, "I-I… I found out a couple o' weeks ago that… somethin' I did a couple o' quadracks before we came to earth… well… I destroyed somu'n who didn' deserve to be destroyed." Oddly; telling her did seem to help no matter how guilty he felt.

"You what?" She couldn't believe her ears; Jazz didn't seem like the type to kill someone without justifiable proof.

He let out a long exasperated sound: it was time _someone_ knew what he did before he followed in the footsteps of Heart-Beat. "I said… to sum it up… I killed m' best friend."

—several million years earlier—

Jazz stood in the academy hall behind the door; visor-less and grinning mischievously. A femme with bright optics and reddish armor aproached from around the corner; and she seemingly did not notice him. He lunged at her, missing by a few feet and hurtling into the wall. She didn't give him a second glance, "Hey J-bot." She held out her hand to help him up.

"Man! How'd ya know I was there and was gonna do that?"

"Maybe because ya try that every day. Were ya paying attention at all today? You kept staring into space…"

"'O course I was! What do you take me for Heart-Bear? A slacker?"

"Actually Jazz… kinda. A lock-pad strikes more fear into people than ya do; and can make someone talk faster too…"

"Bet ya I can read how ta break you!"

"I already know how to break ya, but I bet I could find out more!" The pair ran off into the courtyard throwing friendly insults back and forth.

——

After the war started; they did all they could to stay in the same units going on the same special operations. They were the top two specialists in most of there classes, so there was little problem with them sticking together and being able to watch each other's backs. Then she was given a infiltration mission; she had to pretend to be a Decepticon and get inside information for the teams.

Jazz begged to be allowed to do so with her. He almost convinced the 'boss to let him too… Then she made the one argument that broke his case; "It would be suspicious if two Autobots from the same unit switched sides at the same time." He couldn't understand why she'd suddenly want to be away from him. The closest thing to an answer he got was, "I don't want to put ya in more risk than ya're already in." He later suspected an ulterior motive to her actions; especially when he found out that she'd requested the mission. He felt his distrust true even more so when they next met.

She had sent them a communication stating a planed attack on Supernal City; and suggested a surprise attack. They did as suggested, and went into battle as she said. But something didn't feel right: the enemy was late in coming. Then they knew why. A surprise attack on the surprise attackers: sneaky.

Jazz searched the battle field frantically; did they find her out and make her talk? Was she destroyed? Was it even her who'd given the warning? Then he saw her; and all the thoughts melted away. He gave her one of his trademark cocky grins, expecting her to give him a smile back.

But that smile never came. Her face was stern, and at the same time sad, worried, and regretful all in one. Her face showed none of this; only her optics told it. Before he could react, or even think; she shot him. He felt an extreme pain a little to the left of his spark chamber: a lucky break on his part. But before he went down he shot her the most heart-wrenching look he'd ever given anyone; it clearly said, "Why Heart-Beat?"

——

It took a wile for him to get fully repaired. He was very fortunate that she had missed the way she did. He couldn't believe she'd betray him like that… but then again she could be very impressionable at times… _No_ he thought bitterly, _she'd never do that; that couldn't have been her! She… she did though… how… how can she live knowing she tried to kill me! How could she've been so heartless! She's my best friend… or… was my best friend…"_

An alarm went off; the Decepticons were attacking civilians. When he got to the battlefield, she was there, fighting side by side with her enemy. There optics locked, but it was impossible to read her expression or her optics. She made a move for her sub-space-pocket, but he was quicker, he shot her dead-on: an instant spark demolition.

After the battle (the Autobots won), he examined her body. She didn't appear to've felt any pain. He pulled her arm out of her 'pocket and found clutched in her hand; not a weapon as he'd expected, but a data-pad. He felt guilty; he'd killed her thinking she was pulling out a weapon! But then he decided that it was an accident that she'd grabbed this instead of her gun. However he decided to keep it as a reminder not to jump to conclusions about the enemy; also deciding against watching it.

—Back to present time—

Carly sat in disbelief at what Jazz had just told her; not knowing what to say. He looked to the ground, "That's why I started wearin' this visor; so nobody'd see the pain in m' optics… the pain _I _put there."

"B-but why now? Why are you suddenly feeling so guilty about it?" She asked shakily.

He lowered his optics, "A few weeks ago I decided to look at the data-pad I found in her hand. The moment I looked at it; I knew something was wrong." He pulled it out of his sub-space-pocket and bent down to show her. It was painted black but underneath there were stars, heart-shapes, and smiley-faces carved into it. And over the top a word was written in Cybertronian, in silver paint. She gave him a questioning look; he whispered in reply, "It says my name…"

"So this whole time she'd wanted to give it to you?"

He nodded, "Most of it is kinda like a log, or notes of things she'd wanted to say to me after her mission was over. Then just after she told us about the planned attack, she told the data-pad that one of them'd overheard the conversation, and that she didn't have time to tell us they knew; and she told them she was luring us into a trap." For a moment he was quiet, looking at the floor without fail.

"But why did you suddenly decide to look at it?"

He finally responded, "Actually; I was just cleaning out my sub-space pockets, I didn't realize what it was and started to read it. Anyway; after she shot me she told the log that she was afraid she'd killed me: she wouldn't stop crying. Then…" he sighed deeply; putting the pad in a reader; "…Then she said this…" he hit some buttons on the reader and a date came on the screen; it was in Cybertronian so Carly couldn't read the date; but it was only for a moment.

A femme with blood-red armor and green trim appeared in the middle on the screen, she looked as if she had no more tears to cry; but as if she wished she did. A weak smile forced its way onto her face; "Hi Jazz. If you're watching this it means that you're okay: and that I didn't destroy you. Thank Primus if you are. If you're not: Primus be damned. I never wanted to hurt you! I swear! I… I'm sooooooo sorry. I-I… This is going to be my last entry. If you're not alive… I don't know what I'll do. I don't want to function in a universe without you. Jazz I-… Good-bye Jazz… there's some things I can never tell you… even if there's a good chance you'll never see it. Jazz I lo-" the data-pad cut her off with loud crackles and silver lines.

Carly sat dumbfounded for a long time. She finally whispered, "Whoa… She really cared about you…"

He nodded, "And I just killed her like she was any other enemy… I can't believe I did that!" he pounded his fist on the wall, causing a holler from the 'bot next door.

Carly looked at him in surprise for a moment, then nodded as if she understood, "You loved her didn't you?"

He didn't even realize he nodded until he said, "Yeah; I guess I did… and still kinda do…" his optics widened as he realized what he'd said.

She smiled sadly, "Don't worry; things will turn out better. Optimus told me we're getting a few new 'bots soon…" she tried to sound reassuring.

He smiled as best as he could, "Thanks for listening Carly."

—A few days later—

They stood in formation to welcome the newcomer Autobots. There were a good seven bot's on board. They introduced themselves accordingly (though some of them didn't need introductions) Outback, Cromia, Fierstar, Moonracer, Aftershock, and Electric-Blaze.

They moved aside to reveal a pinkish-red femme with pale-green trim; she looked shy, and a little self-conscious. She wore a visor that easily moved to rest on top of her, but kept it down. Jazz recognized her immediately, "Heart-Beat!" he nearly shouted, causing several 'bots to turn and look at him strangely.

She smiled knowingly and said both boldly and shakily at the same time, "Hey: I'm Heart-Beat. I-I'm a special OP's officer." She couldn't help but glance that the bots around her, she's seen some of them before (though she didn't know any of them personally). She couldn't help but keep an optic open for the friend she hadn't seen since… well; since they tried to kill each other all those years ago, and he'd almost succeeded.

But her spark sank when there was no sign of him. She didn't even register when Optimus Prime said, "It's good to see all of you made it here alive and well. We'll have someone show you around based on your specialist assortments. Powerglide; show Outback, and Moonracer, around. Inferno? I want you to show around Fierstar and Aftershock. Iornhide-show Cromia and Electric-Blaze around. Jazz? Jazz? Where'd he go!"

Prowl was brave enough to respond, "He started mumbling to himself then took off back inside."

Beneath his mask Prime frowned; it was unlike Jazz to run off without saying anything. But he had to come up with a solution; "Prowl? I want you to show Heart-Beat around."

"Yes sir."

——

"… And these are some of the living quarters. Optimus requested me to show you where your quarters are; so follow me." Even Prowl could see that this femme had something on her mind; but was also trying very hard to pay close attention to everything she was told. "Here it is- fifth one down from the wreck-room. Do you need to know where anything else is? I really need to get back the command center."

"No- I think I'm fine. Thank you Prowl."

He thought for a moment that it would be wise not to say anything, but decided to ask, "Heart-Beat? When you went to the Academy… did you know a 'bot named Jazz?"

She looked away almost as if his words had scolded her metal skin, but finally replied, "Of course I did; he was my best friend until… well; for a long time. Why may I ask, do _you_ ask?"

"I suspected you two knew each other. Him disappearing from welcoming you and the other newcomers and all… it was only logical that he knew one of you and that you'd last seen each other on poor terms."

She almost smiled, "Depends on if ya count him tryin' ta kill ya bad terms 'r not." Her voice seemed to take on an accent some-what similar to Jazz's.

"Um… most 'bots would…"

"So he's here on earth? Was he one of you 'bots who's been here for 4 million years? Or has he been recently added to your crew?"

"He's been here for a long wile now. By his attitude he'd rather stay on earth listening to its music forever rather than go home."

"… Well: thanks for your help and showing me around. See ya soon!" her voice sounded, as Jazz would say, faked. But Prowl didn't have time to dawdle; he needed to get to work. He glanced back at her just as she was disappearing into her room.

——

Jazz sat lazily in his room, music blasting from a nearby wall. He was trying to block out all his thoughts of her. He had managed to avoid he for two weeks; a new record for him avoiding people. He was way too much of a people person to avoid anyone for long, and he'd almost talked to her a few times, but every time he looked at her he became overwhelmed with guilt and found an excuse to leave. He doubted she even knew he was on earth…

Jazz heard a pounding at the door; most likely someone to complain about the music. Jazz turned it down, shouting, "Sorry 'bout the music! I didn't mean to disturb anybody!"

"Jazz! We need to talk!" Prowl sounded as if whatever it was; it needed to be resolved immediately.

Jazz opened the door and motioned him to sit. Prowl was silent for a long moment, not looking him in the optics. Jazz gave him a worried look, "Common man, tell m' what's wrong."

"I know you used to be friends with Heart-Beat. So I wanted to ask you about it before-"

"Chilax man. We aren't friends anymore, so I don't know a lot about who she is now. Why'd you wanna talk to me about this anyway? And how'd ya find out?"

"I've actually been talking to her a lot recently. And… I have the feeling you two might have had a history together… and kinda wanted to ask if it was alright if I asked her to-"

"What! Why would you even want to- I-I mean… It's fine with me. It ain't like I'm her keeper 'er anything'." Jazz looked away from his friend; it was obvious he had a problem with him asking her to be his girlfriend.

"Jazz, if it's a problem-"

"No-no; its fine man. I mean… m' two best buds together couldn't be tha' bad…"

"Jazz; if it's a problem with you than you should say so now. I don't want to do anything that will upset you; you are my friend after all. I really like her, but I don't want a relationship with her to-"

"Prowl, it's fine, really. I would however like to talk to her after you two start dating."

Prowl raised an arch-ridge, "She doesn't hate you you know. She knew you were just trying to protect yourself and your team. Her spark was on-line the whole time when you took the disk from her; she knew you thought she was destroyed. Her spark was the only thing functional, so she couldn't let you know you hadn't killed her. She doesn't hate you for-"

"Prowl; you know how many Decepticons I've killed without a second thought? It's totally different when instead of a' enemy you're trying to murder your best friend!"

"You thought she betrayed you; it was perfectly logical to-"

"Prowl! Emotions _ain't_ logical. Why don't you get that? Get outt'a here. I need ta be alone."

——

Jazz sipped his cup of energon wile reading over some data-pads in the wreak room. He was amazed that Prowl was acting like nothing happened around him. It seemed to be business as usual; only after duty they now only talked about work. He set the pad on the desk and gently massaged his 'temples'. _Okay, maybe he has been giving me a little extra work to do; but not much. Maybe there was just more work to do all together lately._ He heard footsteps as someone entered the room- obviously female, heavy on her feet, like she was tired… _Uht-oh… I hope that's not who I think it is…_

He heard whomever it was poor a cup of energon and began walking toward him. He decided not to look up; that might jinx it. But the femme wasn't shooed away by his lack in enthusiasm for her arrival. She knelt down beside him; he could see her pinkish and teal armor out of the corner of his optic; it _was_ her.

"Jazz?" she whispered, reaching up to turn his face toward her. "It's time we talk about what happened. And don't say you've got to much work to do- I had a little chat with Prowl and he's willing to let you not finish your work tonight if you talk to me about this." She snatched his data-pad from his hands and held it behind her back. "Please Jazz, I wanna be friends again. Please…" her voice dropped low and water began leaking from her optics, dripping down past her visor.

For a long moment he stared at her, not sure what to say. But he finally realized that he had nothing _to_ say. She already understood how he felt; she didn't blame him for what happened… they were beyond discussing it. It was almost like they'd already talked about it; though not in words. He finally decided the only thing he could do was make her stop crying; so he suddenly pulled her into a death-grip-bear-hug. "It's okay. You're like my little sister; and I'm gonna be here for ya. M' 'kay sis?"

She smiled at him shyly, "Why can't you be the little one? And does this mean that you're gonna beat up the mech I'm with?"

"Nah. Just threaten ta… unless he hurts ya. Then I'll beat 'im senseless."

"Jazz; you goof."

"No; I'm serious."

"Jazz!"

"Aw; now ain't this _cute_!" they turned to see Sideswipe grinning in the doorway, it was then Jazz realized he was still hugging Heart-Beat.

"Lay off 'Swipes. I don't torment you for lovin' your bro."

"Yes but he is my brother, not some floozy femme."

"What did you just call m' best friend and practically m' little sister!"

"Uht-oh."

Heart-Beat couldn't help but laugh. "You might wanna run 'Swipe."

"Good idea. Ahh!" Jazz gave chase to his friend; glad for the first time since he'd realized his terrible mistake. He didn't even see that Heart-Beat had stared doing his work wile he and Sideswipe rough-housed.

——

It was a shame the good cheer didn't last long. Heart-Beat was damaged beyond repair in a battle a few weeks later. She had told Jazz to dodge; she was to the right of him, so he jumped left not to crush her. She ended up taking the full force of a blast meant for him.

"Heart… 'm sorry; this' all m' fault!"

"Jazz…" she whispered, almost smiling, "No regrets. Okay? No regrets."

He nodded faintly, "All see you when I join the matrix 'kay?"

"So long as it's no time soon. Then I'll kick your aft all the way back to the land of the living." Her voice was softer than usual, but it still had a mischievous undertone to it.

Prowl had been sent on a mission in Russia just before the incident, and still hadn't called base. Jazz touched her face gently, "I'll tell Prowl you said goodbye."

"Thanks… but I have one thing to ask… do you forgive me for hurting you?"

"Of course...! Do you forgive me?"

"Without a lament. Bye Jazz, I love ya bro. Tell Prowl I love him too-…"

Her optics lost their color, and within moments her entire body began to turn grey and black. Her body slouched and a single puff of air escaped her 'mouth'. Jazz put hid head against hers, whispering into the body's audio, "Goodbye… Please forgive me Heart-Beat. I never meant to cause you so much grief and pain. Forgive me… Forgive me…"

END


End file.
